If you want to be successful in relationships someday — as a husband and a father — the best place to start is with yourself. The trick is not in finding the right wife, or having the right children. The key is to start with you. And the most important relationship you can have — one that will make you a better husband and father — is a relationship with God.
God is the author of sex, love and relationships in general. He created these things for us to enjoy. And we can enjoy them fully if we follow His design for them. I’ve come to discover that God is not a “moralizer.” He doesn’t say, “Do this” or “Don’t do this” for no reason. When He says, “Don’t do this” (for example, wait for marriage to have sex), He’s not saying that to show me who’s boss, He’s saying it because it’s in my best interest. He’s saying it because He knows how He’s built me as a man, what is best for me, and what will bring me the most fulfillment.
Knowing God Personally
The Bible says that Jesus Christ was God who became man — “The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.” He was “the exact representation of His [God’s] being.” In short, Jesus Christ revealed exactly what God is like. So how do we begin a relationship with Him?
God has a genuine love for us and wants us to know Him…but there is a problem. Currently, what stands in the way of us connecting with God is our sin (our failure to love God and others perfectly).
So Jesus Christ (“God in the flesh”) took all of our sin on His shoulders while He willingly died on a cross. He did this so we could be completely forgiven, completely acceptable to Him. He made the great sacrifice of being beaten, humiliated, whipped and crucified on our behalf. Then, after three days, He rose from the dead. He now asks us to respond to His sacrifice by inviting Him into our lives.
Jesus Christ was the most masculine man who ever lived. People don’t often give Him much credit for that, but it’s true. So, when you ask Him to come into your life, you are asking the one Person who knows more about being a man than any other man. He will help you to become a real man — not the Hollywood version — but someone far more fulfilled in life and far more valuable to the lives of others.
What does that real man look like? He doesn’t look like a wolf (someone who looks out only for himself). Instead, he looks more like a shepherd — someone who looks out for the well-being of others. As you grow in your relationship with Christ, you will discover more and more what it means to be a real man. And Christ will change the way you think about women and consequently the way you treat them.
You can begin a relationship with Christ that lasts forever. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that those who believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). Belief means trust. When you trust or rely on Christ’s sacrifice on your behalf, you can receive eternal life — a relationship with God that begins now, that you maintain for the rest of your life. If this is now the desire of your heart, the following is a guideline for the kinds of things you might want to say to God in sincerity:
Dear God, I confess that I have sinned against You. Thank You for taking all of my sin upon Yourself on the cross. I want to receive Your forgiveness. I want to enter into a relationship with You. I ask You to come into my life as my Savior and Lord. Please make me into the man You want me to be.
To gain helpful dating advice and to grow in your knowledge of God, read the sections Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John in the Bible.